Dare to Believe in a Child

The other day, I met an extraordinary child outside of the supermarket. As I approached the entrance to the store, a boy of about 10 stepped up and said, “Hi, my name is Joshua and I have written a comic book. Would you like to buy a copy?” Impressed by his confidence, I stopped to take a look at Josh’s book. The artwork was pretty good, and he definitely had a captivating storyline, replete with interesting details, good dialog, and a cliffhanger to leave the reader wanting more. But what impressed me even more than his work was Josh’s vision. Here’s what he wrote on the last page:

Thank you for your support in my comic book business. Since I left you intrigued with my story, you should go to my email address and leave your contact information so my parents (employees) can let you know when the next issue is coming out. Please take my story as an inspiration in your life that you can do anything you want as long as you work hard for it.

Now, here is a boy who knows what he wants and believes that he can create it. And he also has parents who believe. How do I know this? Well, the fact that they have signed on as his “employees” to help him with his business is a pretty clear demonstration. Not only are they managing his email, but they probably help with photocopying and putting his books together, and, most impressive of all, mom was spending her Saturday afternoon sitting outside of a supermarket to support her son as he boldly took action to manifest his dream.

You know that old saying, “Behind every successful man is a strong woman”? Well, I believe that behind every successful child is someone who believes in him/her. Researchers in the field of education have a strong base of empirical data that demonstrates the power that teachers’ expectations have upon the success of their students. In a famous study conducted in the ‘60s (Rosenthal, Robert & Jacobson, Lenore, Pygmalion in the Classroom; Teacher Expectation and Pupils Intellectual Development, Holt, Rinehart and Winston, New York, 1968), students with varying initial IQ scores were randomly selected to be identified to their teachers as students that could be expected to do well. At the end of the school year, those who the teachers thought would do well did more than twice as well as the average student.

Now, if a teacher’s expectations can have that much of an impact upon a child, imagine the kind of power parents can have to affect their child’s success. As a teacher with more than 20 years of experience working with children, I have seen this power demonstrated with both positive and negative effects. Knowing the power that I have as a teacher, I have always chosen to believe in my students’ potential. However there have been times when it was difficult for my faith in a child to overcome the negative expectations of a parent. As a reading specialist, I work with children who are having difficulty learning to read. So often, when I speak to the parents, they tell me a story about how they themselves struggled with reading, or with academics in general, so they expect that their child will have a similar experience. When I am able to convince the parents that their child has the ability to learn, and they change their expectations, I always see a shift in the child’s beliefs about him/herself, which results in the experience of greater success.

For a dramatic example of the power of a parent’s faith in a child, I recommend reading the autobiography of Dr. Ben Carson (Gifted Hands: The Ben Carson Story, Zondervan, 1996). It is the story of a boy who, despite being teased in elementary school for being stupid, overcame the odds and became the director of pediatric neurosurgery at Johns Hopkins Children's Center. And standing behind Ben, every step of the way, is his mother, who refuses to let him believe he is dumb, sets high expectations for him and his brother, and supports their achievements with tenacious faith that stands firm even in the face of her sons’ own doubts.

Whether you are a parent, a grandparent, a teacher, or anyone that has any kind of a relationship with a child, I want you to know that your faith in that child is more powerful than you can imagine. Your faith in a child’s ability to succeed has the power to manifest the kind of self-confidence that will empower them to make their dreams come true. Your faith in the lack of a child’s ability to succeed has the power to hold them back. How will you use your power?

Does your child have a dream, a desire, or an ambition? Will you dare to believe in your child's dreams? What if your six-year-old daughter told you that she intended to sell her crayon drawings from a stand in the front yard? Would you discourage her from trying, believing it unlikely that anyone would stop and pay money for her artwork? Would you be afraid of her feelings being hurt if her drawings didn’t sell? Or would you dare to support her self-confidence, set-up the stand, and advertise to the neighbors? That’s what the mom of one of my first grade students did, and that little girl sold twenty dollars worth of drawings at two dollars apiece.

And what if your child doesn’t have a dream? What if, like Ben Carson, he does not believe in himself? Will you dare to believe? And will you do everything in your power to help your child learn to believe in himself? The way to do that is to do just what Ben Carson’s mom did – set high expectations and provide every opportunity for him to experience success. Success breeds confidence and motivates us to strive for more success. What kinds of opportunities can you create for your child to experience success? You can start small, celebrate every accomplishment, and watch how your child’s ambitions grow with his confidence. Your faith will surely grow as well and, when it does, the possibilities will just keep getting bigger.

If you have an inspiring story about how faith in a child has made a difference, or about how a child has inspired you, please share it here.

I can't wait to hear your thoughts and be inspired by your stories.

~Kare Castle
coachingwithkare.com